Embrace the chaos: finding joy in the messy moments of motherhood.

I’m always going to try to be as honest and transparent as possible, I would hate to be one of those mums who act like they’re perfect and everything is always under control- if you’re looking for that you’re in the wrong place.

With motherhood perfection really isn’t the goal, it is a journey that is filled with ups and downs, and if you expect perfection from yourself, you will spend many a night disappointed with the outcome of your day.

So, here I am telling you to embrace the chaos when just two hours ago I was trying to get my kids ready for the school drop, my son was just in one of those moods to well, how do I put this nicely… be an ass…

He was sulking and scowling, and his attitude was stinking. And I lost it. I completely lost it. There I was shouting at him from the top of the stairs to go get his damn jumper on.

Now he’s at school and I’m going to be left feeling terrible all day that the last thing I did before sending him away for the day was shout because he wouldn’t put his jumper on?

In my defence my husband has been away all this week, and he took the car with him * cries in laziness*, so it has been one Hella’ long week. And I just have to say to all the single mums out there- you are amazing, I bow before you.

Prior to this week I would probably have said my husband does nothing, but I guess now I see that would be a slight exaggeration… I never realised just how often the bin needs emptied, and how quickly the recycling builds up.

Embracing the chaos.

Ok, you know when your children are playing and they are SO loud together, that it takes literally every fibre of your being to not yell at them to shut up, because after all they’re just having fun. Overstimulation when it comes to motherhood is something we all face. How I deal with this is I put some music on my phone to sing along to – that always helps me.

The raising of little people is both unpredictable, and overwhelming. The sleepless nights. The juggling of a million and one things. What mood will they wake up in tomorrow morning? Will they cry the whole day, will they argue with every little thing you ask them to do, or will they be annoyingly hyper? Who knows, and this is where we need to learn to embrace the chaos.

My advice to you is to inhale the chaos and exhale the overstimulation. Deep breaths. Deep beaths are key to remaining calm during chaos. Try and let go of perfection and enjoy the little things.

I try to tell myself in a few years’ time when they’re going through that whole misunderstood teenage era, of ‘I’m too cool for you’, that I’ll miss the sounds of their mischievous laughs as they play together, I’ll miss the food spills in the kitchen, and I’ll miss having someone to follow me round all day.

Try to find joy in the mundane.

I don’t think this is spoken about enough, I think probably because everyone is so busy pretending that everything is going great- and God forbit you admit to struggling.

Motherhood, much like life can be brilliant, when you’re up its great. But sometimes it has its downs, and in between is the mundane day to day simpleness.

You need to try and enjoy the mundane moments, because let’s face it most days are simple. But if you are feeling a bit like every day is the same, you need to remember how important your role is.

As a mother the role you play in your child’s life is vital, you are responsible for shaping their lives, so never let the mundaneness of life allow you to forget how important you are.

Try to fine joy in the little moments, even if it is doing the laundry or cooking a family meal, it is the little moments that make motherhood special.

But equally know that it is okay to have days where the washing overflows, and its chicken nuggets for dinner, having a break is vital to your mental health.

Imagine the Mum you want to be.

Think about the type of mother you want to be, not the type of mother society dictates you to be, and work towards that goal every day.

Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes along the way, and your vision of motherhood does not have to align with that of your best friend, or anyone else for that matter.

Don’t worry what other people are doing, focus on you. It’s hard to look around and compare your journey to all the ‘perfect’ people on Instagram, but don’t compare your reality to somebody’s highlight reel.

PS. Just so you know all mothers struggle, and all mothers lose their patience from time to time, you are not alone.