Newsflash... I'm not the perfect mother and neither are you.

Okay disclaimer, I am not the perfect mum. I don’t have everything figured out, I forget about things on an almost daily basis and sometimes I have absolutely zero patience.

I forget to pack PE kits, I forget to return all the school forms. Heck the only reason I’ve never missed a dental appointment is because up until recently my sister was a dental nurse at our dentist.

She would call me every day on the run up, and text me about 8 times on the day of said appointment.

But you know what I’ve never forgotten… I’ve never forgotten to kiss them good morning, good night or a million times in between. I’ve never forgotten to tell them at least a hundred times a day that I love them, and how special they are to me. Or that the world is a better place just by their existence. And at the end of the day that’s all that matters.

Sometimes... dare I admit it but when my children tell me a story, I just nod along pretending to be fascinated by the fact that ‘Godzilla has nuclear breath that can destroy anything’, just waiting for it to end…

PS. Kieffer, on the off chance that you do read this I’m just kidding I love all things Godzilla and Kaiju universe related…

I imagine that I’m not alone in the patiently waiting of certain stories to end, even though you aren’t going to hear or see many other mums admitting to that.

I think the problem is that nobody wants to admit they’re struggling, we all want to make out everything is perfect. Trying to hold up this perfect character is not only an issue for mothers, but also a problem for all women and men alike.

When the reality is if we just let our guards down, we would see its ok to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is what makes us authentic and allows us to connect with one another on a deeper level.

As a working mother, it is the balance I struggle with most. Society dictates I must be the ‘perfect mother’ and pour my whole soul into the raising of children, but I mustn’t neglect the housework, my role as a wife, or my job.

I think it’s crucial for mothers to push against the societal expectations. To define motherhood on our own terms, and how you see it. Being a good mother means different things to different people, and I say you do you Hun.

Stop striving for perfection.

Perfection is overrated. Perfection is an unrealistic expectation. Being a mum is an already challenging role so why add unnecessary stress on top of that?

None of us are perfect, and that's ok. By letting go of this unattainable standard you can focus on what really matters- being the best mother you can be.

If you’re anything like me you are comparing yourself to Instagram perfect mums and the standard they have set, well your kids aren’t seeing that- you are all they know, and all they need.

Stop trying to achieve some unattainable idealised version of motherhood.

I can guarantee your kids wouldn’t change you for the world. It’s time for us to overcome societal pressure to be ‘perfect’. Trying to achieve an unattainable goal is not only damaging for your mental health but your self-esteem also.

I say it’s time to embrace the messiness of motherhood. The dishes from breakfast are still sat there, the washing basket is overflowing, and the beds are yet to be made, well look at that… the earth hasn’t shattered.

Avoid comparisons, and practice self-compassion.

Seriously I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ before, but it really is, all comparison is going to do is leave you feeling dissatisfied and inadequate.

It’s silly to compare your journey to someone else’s, as we all have unique experiences, circumstances, backgrounds, and individual parenting styles.

You must also practice self-compassion, be kinder to yourself. This is going to lead to an overall improvement mentally which in turn is going to make you a happier Mama. There is a power that comes from positive thoughts.

I asked my daughter last night, ‘Azalea, do you think I am perfect?’, and if I’m being totally honest, I thought she was going to say yes, and the ending of this blog was going to read something along the lines of ‘it doesn’t matter if you are actually perfect, your children will think you are’.

However, she responded ‘No Mama, nobody is perfect’.

I have just been left feeling so empowered by that. I can’t even explain it, but it left me feeling hopeful. Hopeful that I have instilled within her that perfection is not the goal. Hopeful that she wont care to live up to societal expectations, and hopeful that she will forge her own path in this life.

So, my advice to you is don’t worry about imperfections, embracing them is what will lead to self-acceptance, personal growth, and a stronger sense of well-being.

And remember, it’s okay to make mistakes, and forget things. It’s all part of being human.