Parenting an 8-year-old: The Good the Bad and the Ugly

Parenting an 8-year-old can be tough, it’s gone from cuddles on the sofa to eye rolls and attitude. I’m here to talk to you about the good the bad and the ugly.

I would just like to take a moment to apologise to my parents, as the previous queen of eye rolling, I never understood why they would get so mad about a ‘simple’ eye roll. I never realised how infuriating it was.

I have been dethroned as said queen, and in my place stands Kieffer who I consider one or life’s great ‘tests’.

Parenting can be challenging, and it’s normal to feel like you’re being tested at times, and for kids to test the boundaries that you put in place, and to push both you and those boundaries to the limits.

It is important to ‘try’ and stay calm in these moments as how you respond to these situations is key and remind yourself that your child is not intentionally trying to make things difficult for you. They are going through a lot of changes and need your support.

Ps. I know its difficult to try and believe they aren’t intentionally trying to break you, just yesterday I said to Kieffer ‘Do you just roll our of bed every morning and think hmm what can I do to annoy my mum today?!

And I sometimes struggle myself to stay calm so don’t worry if at times you get frustrated, it’s normal.

Let’s talk about the good when it comes to an 8-year-old.

Ok, it isn’t all doom and gloom. There are some great parts of parenting an 8-year-old. There is a growing independence, and they can take on new responsibilities. This can be a positive thing as it helps them develop confidence and self-esteem.

Now I make Kieffer do all the jobs that I can’t be bothered with, I always make him roll up the hoover cord (I don’t know why but I just hate doing that). My favourite job to give him when he hasn’t been listening is to pick up the dogs’ poop, it is a punishment for him and saves me a job – win-win.

PS. don’t worry he has the tools to do it -gloves, scoop, and bags, we don’t make him use his hands.

Their conversation skills are so much better now, and we can talk about our days together and even have a laugh at funny jokes… Their humour is unmatched, and while I don’t always get the joke as the silliness is off the scale, their laughter is infectious and brightens your day… when they’re in the mood to talk that is.

The best part is when they choose to cuddle up with you, it happens less now, so when they choose to come snuggle on the sofa it is even more special. I appreciate it so much more now than I did when he was younger, I think that’s because I realise one day perhaps not too far in the future, he may cuddle up with me for the last time.

The bad and the ugly parts about raising an 8-year-old

Let’s start with the stubborn independence. Its normal at this age for your child to fiercely assert their independence. They might slam doors, roll their eyes, and insist on doing things their way. It’s all part of their journey to establish their individuality, but some days I’m just like ‘please for the love of god listen to me child!’

There are the tantrums, these are very different than the tantrums held by a 2-year-old, but in some ways more annoying because by this point, they know better. So, while it’s known as the terrible 2’s I’ve read online that eight has been dubbed the “hateful eights.”… I can see why to be fair.

Tantrums can reach new heights and it can leave you feeling exhausted. It is our job to try and remain calm when they have these dramatic outbursts where they think they have the worst parent in the world because you asked them to do their homework or to clean their room.

Then we have the crème de la crème, the cream of the crop… the selective listening. It is amazing how well Kieffer can ignore me when I am asking him to put something away or to be nice to his sister, yet when I am having a conversation with someone that is nothing to do with him, he can hear from the next room.

Honestly, I’m glad that this whole selective listening thing is normal. I was feeling alone in my frustrations, but I must say it brings me some comfort to know I am not struggling alone with this one.

Remember: Kids of any age will test their parents’ patience

This is a problem for parents whose child is any age, I am 28 years old, and I think there are still days where I test my parents’ patience.

I guess it is part and parcel of being a parent so when you have days where you feel like your child is driving you up the wall try to take a deep breath in and exhale because there’s a lot more years of annoyance to go yet.

So, I guess the best advice I can give is that it’s a long ride Mama so buckle up.