The 5-Gift Christmas Rule

OK, this is the year I am finally going to do it. I’m not going to spend hundreds of extra pounds on Christmas gifts just to make it look like my kids have more, which only end up at the skip within the year. Are you stuck in this cycle and don’t know how to escape it? Enter the 5-Gift Christmas rule.

Every. Single. Year. I tell myself, ‘This is it; this is the year I finally stop the wastefulness’, and every single year, I fail miserably.

Having recently had workmen over insulating my house and having to move all the furniture around, we decided to have a massive clear-out. As I threw toys from Christmas’ past into black bags, some having hardly been looked at, I felt sick at myself—sick at the wastefulness and consumerism.

As my two older kids get bigger, they ask for more expensive things. This year Kieffer is asking for a gaming PC, and Azalea is asking for an iPad. Those two gifts alone cost a fortune, but that is not enough. It's like mum guilt tells me it's not enough. That I’m not doing enough for them unless I lavish them with wasteful gifts. Does this sound familiar to you?

We are all too familiar with mums' pictures spread all over Facebook of rooms filled with hundreds of gifts, and then we feel that is the standard we must also reach. I had decided it was too late for my older two; they had come to expect a sofa full of gifts each, but I would change things with Margaux, and she would never be any the wiser.

However, the more I thought about it, I started to think, why am I wasting my money on all these little extras just for them to fill landfills? I’m wasting money that I quite simply can’t afford to waste. I would much rather put the cash towards making memories.

So, I decided to call a family meeting.

I asked my kids what the best thing about Christmas was, and of course, they answered ‘the presents’ quite rightfully, though, because as a child, is there anything better than lots of gifts?

They both got about 30 gifts each from Santa last year; I asked them if they could name me 7 of those gifts.

Azalea recalled four two of which she never plays with, and Kieffer managed to name six. One of the gifts he remembered was his drone. I was quick to remind him, ‘Yes, but you forgot you even got that until July.’ That really reinforced to me that they were getting too much; what little boy would get gifted a drone and forget about it until seven months later?

Neither could recall a single item they were gifted the year before last.

So, I said to them can you tell me things you do remember about Christmas, and they said:

‘Watching home alone every year’

‘Going on trips to visit Santa’

‘Spending the day with their aunties and uncles’

‘Lots of food’

‘Decorating the Tree’

‘Wearing matching Christmas PJ’s’

‘Baking cookies’

This made me think of the saying, ‘The older you get, the more you realise it doesn’t matter what's under the Christmas tree—it’s who's around it.’

Talking to the kids made me realise that the gifts I felt I ‘had’ to give them didn’t even matter from a child's perspective because it’s the traditions that really make Christmas special for them, not the pile of gifts.

So what is the 5-Gift Rule?

1.       Something you need

Are they in need of new shoes, a new colouring set, or perhaps a new pair of boots? Just anything that they are in actual need of.

2.       Something to Read

It is pretty self-explanatory: some form of book, whether that be fiction, a comic or non-fiction.

3.       Something you want.

This can be anything your child wants. In Kieffer and Azaleas' case, they are asking for the gaming PC and an iPad.

4.       Something to wear

Some new clothes.

5.       Something to do

This is something they can play with that will keep your child entertained. It could also be getting tickets for a show or something fun like that. For example, Kieffer is asking for Legos, and Azalea is asking for sewing stuff.

As I look forward to this Christmas, I feel a weight lifting off my shoulders. By embracing the 5-Gift Rule, I’m letting go of the pressure to buy and focusing on what truly matters—creating moments my kids will cherish for years to come. This isn’t about taking the magic out of Christmas; it’s about redefining it, shifting from quantity to quality, and investing in the joy of togetherness and traditions.

If you’re feeling the strain of endless gift-giving or the feeling of guilt as unused toys pile up, I invite you to try the 5-Gift Rule.

I want to make this the year that our family focuses on what is truly important; after all, in a year or two, your kids will have forgotten all the gifts Santa, you, or extended family gives them, but they will remember the experiences and the time they spent together as a family.

Are you on the fence about this, thinking, ‘Oh, I would love to do that, but what if my kids are disappointed and expect more’?

Well, I implore you to have a conversation with them similar to the one I did. After our discussion, my son actually said, ‘One gift is more than enough.’ They will realise for themselves how wasteful the gifts are when they don’t even remember 5% of them.

I am feeling so positive about this decision and would love to know what everyone else thinks. Let’s make this the year we focus on what’s truly important—connection, tradition, and the love that makes Christmas so special.

ps. I am aware to some, this may not appear like a big cutback after all as I said, an iPad and a gaming PC alone are super expensive gifts. But for me, it is. Everyone's standards are going to be different. I would genuinely have gotten them another 30 gifts each but with the 5-Gift rule my consumerism will be kept in check.