When ‘Firsts’ Fade: Stop Looking for Yesteryear, or You’ll Miss What’s Right in Front of You.

‘Firsts’ are where the excitement happens, first smile, first laugh, first roll, first time they lift their own head. For a while, it seems like ‘firsts’ are happening every day, that slowly trickles down to every week, every month, you get the idea. When you experience these ‘firsts’ with your child, man is it exhilarating, these special milestones bring parents such pride.

I remember the first time my child pooped in the potty, I swear I have never been so excited to see poop in my life, I felt I had the smartest human on the planet living with me- I remember telling all my friends and family how proud I was.

Once your child is 18-24 months, the buzz of new milestones really starts to slow down. Don’t get me wrong you still have a lot to look forward to, first time they ride their bike with no stabilisers, first time they tie their own laces, and let’s not forget about their first day of school. God, that’s a big one. For Kieffer’s first day of school my whole family came down to see him off, it was as if he had just graduated from Harvard medical school.

There’s no denying that it’s a transitional period when you move on from the buzz of experiencing firsts on a regular basis, and it is totally normal if this has an emotional impact on you.

I remember I would lie in bed feeling all nostalgic and look at old pictures, and videos, and before I knew it, I’d be crying- ‘oh to do it all again’ I’d be sat thinking (and now here I am sat 6 months pregnant with my third).

I don’t think anyone can completely move on from those feeling of nostalgia, but I learned ways to better manage these feelings, and I would love to share those with you (I mean clearly I never managed them perfectly because I’m going back again, but we move).

How to find joy in everyday moments.

I know a lot of people wouldn’t dare say this out loud, from fear of being judged, but I’ll take one for the team and put it out there – some days parenting is boring, it’s a mundane task that you just can’t be bothered with (mums are allowed to have bad days too you know!).

First off, enjoy the present! One thing I’ve realised is that yeah you look at them and think ‘god you’re so big now, I wish you could be little again’. But if you could take a picture of your child right now and in a couple years’ time you look at it again, you will wish you could have this moment back again.

So, I say stop dwelling on the past and start savouring the present, instead of longing for the days when they were smaller, lets focus on the moments that are unfolding right in front of us.

…But if you are just having one of those days where you can’t be bothered with anything I recommend going to the shop for some snacks- for the kids, and yourself! When you get home, grab your duvet and you all just curl up on the sofa for a movie day. They will love it, and you get to chill and eat junk.

Just remember the next day is a fresh start, nobody can give 110% every day, and that’s ok!

Exploring new hobbies together.

You and your child can explore new interests and hobbies together. Last year before falling pregnant my son and I completed a 5k and that was a milestone (for us both as I had never run a 5k either). The time spent running together was great, and as he gets older its cool to try new things.

My daughter has been in to fashion design so we have been drawing clothing designs together (I have to say mine are pretty rubbish, but just spending time together is so therapeutic), and also I have been trying to teach her with my limited knowledge how to sew.

Let them show you what they are interested in, don’t push them into your own interests.

Practice Gratitude.

I know it can be sad to watch your child start to become independent you don’t have to tell me, heck I used to get upset if my kids wanted to open their own packet of crisps!

In times when you feel emotional about the fact your children need you less, you must remember it is a privilege to be given the opportunity to raise a child and watch them fly the nest.

And just because all the ‘typical’ firsts have dried up there’s other ones that will creep up on you and make you chuckle. The other week my daughter went upstairs to get dressed and my husband shouted up after her ‘you better not put that tank top on!’ or when my son was meant to be cleaning his room and I was doing some of my course work I heard myself yelling ‘turn down your damn music’, afterwards I genuinely laughed because it made me feel like an 80-year-old granny.

First's never stop... I'm almost 30 and still experience 'first's' in life, so chill out there's still so much more exciting things to look forward to... So, my advice is to try never let go of that excitement as they still have their whole lives ahead, and try to incorporate ‘mindful moments’ into your day, simply take a few moments each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for.