Why We Need to Stop Defining Our Worth by the Number on the Scale

I’ve typed about eight different openings to this blog post. Nothing seems good enough, I guess that’s foreshadowing of what I plan to discuss when it comes to the effect the scales can have on us.

Many of my days begin the same. I waken my two children to get up and ready for the day, make their breakfast and then head to the bathroom to weigh myself... Wow that sounds even sadder when I write it. Makes me feel a little sorry for myself if I’m being honest.

(Ps. I might edit this part out before posting but it’s good to be honest to myself about myself at least)

(PPS. Ok I will keep it in because I know the obsession with weighing yourself is a common issue for many women)

The number that appears on that scale equivalates my feeling of worth for the day, and I want to write this post because I imagine I am not alone in these feelings, and I think it’s time we stop defining our worth by a number on the scale.

I remember I once read something that made me realise how silly this pursuit of the ‘perfect weight’ was, it spoke about how if you have a pair of shoes that are too small for you, you don’t get mad at your feet, you just buy a bigger pair of shoes. So, why do we get mad at our bodies when they don’t fit into clothes?

The funny thing about obsessing over our weight is that it is a fruitless endeavour. If you feel you are not good enough at your current weight, you’re never going to love yourself when you reach X, Y or Z.

You know those TikToks where people go up to an elderly person and say, ‘what’s one thing you regret in your life’, or ‘what’s one thing you wish you could tell your younger self?’

Well one time I was watching one and they said they would tell their younger self ‘You’re not as ugly as you think’, and explained they used to be so critical of themselves but looking back at old pictures they could see a beauty that existed that was there all along, but they could not see at the time.

It’s crazy though isn’t it, how our perception of ourselves changes over time. There have been times in my life where I have hand on heart thought I was ‘fat’, and then I look back on pictures and thought oh my god what was you thinking Stephanie, you look great!

We have been programmed to hate ourselves to line the pockets of the beauty industry.

The global beauty market, including skincare, fragrance, makeup, and haircare, generated approximately $430 billion in revenue in 2022 and is expected to reach approximately $580 billion by 2027.

This industry profits from women’s insecurities and self-doubt, they along with wider society perpetuate unrealistic beauty standards and promote unhealthy weight obsession. We are constantly bombarded with images of “perfect” bodies and faces, which leaves us feeling we are inadequate.

We should strive to be healthy and happy, rather than trying to conform to unrealistic beauty standards and if we all decided to embrace our bodies the beauty industry would no longer be able to profit from our insecurities.

The media sets the beauty standards, and we all follow it like moth to the flame. I remember in around 2018 I started seeing everywhere ‘how to get rid of hip dips.’… Next thing I know I am googling ‘what are hip dips’, the horror when I realised I had them.

One minute prior I lived with hip dips not caring, and now here I am watching a video on how to remove them even though I had them my whole life without a care- make it make sense. Which in hindsight is stupid because I now know it is my literal bone structure and I can’t change that. No kind of exercise will change your skeleton’s shape so don't waste your passion or energy worrying about something so pointless.

Writing this post has been much like the phrase one step forward two steps back, I write a sentence and then take two away. It is so hard to alter the thinking patterns of a lifetime. Self-love is not an easy journey, but much like anything you need to find something that truly resonates within you.

For years It was a pointless battle of thoughts but then I heard the advice that whenever you say something negative to yourself imagine as though you are saying it to the child you.

When I tell you that had a profound impact on my daily thought patterns it is no exaggeration. I could never tell child me that she is ugly, that she has a crooked nose, or a fat stomach, or chunky thighs. So, why should I tell adult me that? She is worthy also.

Since trying to change my thoughts regarding my body I have realised how miraculous the female body is. My body has grown two healthy little humans, how amazing is that? Our bodies can create and sustain life and are capable of incredible levels of strength and endurance.

How social media influences our self-image.

For years the unrealistic beauty standards that are set by the media have been criticised, as they are detrimental for our mental health, but the rise of social media has undoubtedly strengthened the idea of the ‘perfect body’.

When it comes to weight obsession, I know in my case social media can create feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.

I don’t know about you but the pressure I put on myself to lose weight for a holiday, or special event is crazy. Which is pretty stupid because as soon as I get there I realise ‘oh wait, where are all the perfect Instagram models?’. It is actually a freeing feeling where I think ok, I’m actually fine.

Social media is great, and it can be so much fun, and I much like many others love to share my life. But we need to remember that it isn’t a real representation of someone’s everyday life, and we mustn’t let other people’s highlight reels influence how we feel about our own reality. If certain accounts are making you feel bad about your own self-image just unfollow them.

We need to stop defining our worth by the number that appears on a scale and comparing ourselves to others. As Maya Angelou once said, ‘you alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.’

This quote reminds me that self-love and acceptance are not dependent on external validation or approval. They are based on our own inner sense of worth and dignity.

A scale can only tell you how much you weigh. But that is not a measure of your beauty. Scales can give you your weight, yes, but they cannot tell you how much you matter, they can not tell you how great your personality is, how much happiness you bring to others or how loved you are by your friends or family.

PS. After writing this, I feel like heading to my bathroom with a hammer and smashing my scale… a scary and daunting idea, but an idea none the less. Perhaps one I will come back to.